The Timbernacci Sequence

Posted in Futbol at 9 am

Today I make a bold prediction. In the first three matches of the season, the Timbers have out-scored their opponents very consistently. Take a look at the results:

  1. 0:1 vs Puerto Rico Islanders
  2. 1:2 vs Minnesota Thunder
  3. 0:2 vs Seattle Sounders

Notice a pattern here? Yes, it seems that Gavin Wilkinson has inspired the boys in green to beat their opponents by a margin that follows the Fibonacci Sequence. The Fibonacci Sequence is pretty simple. You start with 1 and add 0, which gives you 1. Then you take that second 1 and add it to the first 1. That gives you 2. You add the previous number (1) to the current number (2) to get the next number (3). Repeat: You add the previous number (2) to the current number (3) to get the next number (5). Repeat: You add the previous number (3) to the current number (5) to get the next number (8). 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21 and so on.

I fully expect that when the Timbers face the Rochester Rhinos (at PGE Park) on May 8th, they will win by a goal differential of 3. Which leaves us in the perfect position of go ahead 5 goals over the Flounders on May 10th.

By the end of the season, at the final home game, we should beat the Charleston Battery by 514,229 goals.

The final regular season game for the Timbers will have a goal chasm of 832,040 against the Carolina Railhawks @ WakeMed Soccer Park.

As it is likely that by following this plan the Timbers will get a first round bye in the post-season, they will have 4 more matches at the end of the season, with the two-leg aggregate for the championship’s goal totals separated by 5,702,887.

Over the course of the season and the playoffs, the Timbers will score 9,227,464 times. Yep, Nine Million goals in 2008.

This is going to be a real team effort. By the 13th match (Vancouver Whitecaps @ Swangard Stadium) The Timbers will be scoring a over once per minute. I know Taka can handle that pretty easily himself. But by game 25 (Minnesota Thunder @ James Griffin Stadium), the Timbers will be scoring over once per second. I think we’ll need to stagger the goal scoring at that point, so I’m hoping Chris Brown can take up some of the slack. I figure if they alternate seconds, their cleats won’t burst into flames.

By that championship match, the Timbers are going to have to put their backs into it as they score 652 goals each second. I’m hoping that Ray Burse (Keeper) gets at least a few of those, but I expect our back line will help out quite a bit.

I’d like to congratulate head coach Gavin on this brilliant plan. We were pretty weak on offense last year, but now we’re on the right track.

“True supporters for-ev-er more!”

(Please note that my calculations could be off a bit. It may be that Gavin is only having them score the sequence at home games.)

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