08.19.00
Post-partum
Aug 19 Sat (12 PM)
It seems like changes in my life make for my most prolific entries here. And the latest one is a doozie.
One year and 8 months ago, a person (X) hired me to work with him at this new company that was part of his cousin’s other company. For the first year or so, we formed the core of this company. He brought work in and I did the work. A few others played roles in this, however, it always seemed to me that these two roles formed the basis of the organization.
As the company grew we both took on more responsibility, as the owner kept his hands off of the new baby and let X run the company pretty much as he saw fit.
Last November/December I think X lost confidence in my work. The situation leading to this was the responsibility of a lot of people, but the largest rift came between X and myself. (At least from my perspective.) At that point, X’s loss in confidence in myself extended to the entire development crew. More and more of his work was outsourced to ‘professionals’. These moves threw me back on my heels and made me angry. X began to lean ever more heavily on another person in the company (Y).
By late May of this year, X and Y were the only people bringing in work as the other sales reps had either moved on or been refocused on the more established side of the company. Over the following months the number of projects coming in fell further and further, until in one month, July, only one project came in of any decent size.
Faced with time on my hands and an edict from the owner to setup the Development group to be the best it could, I began developing a handbook, a set of documents that detailed the steps that needed to be taken in order to have a successful project. The workbook was based off notes I’ve compiled over the past 5 years of interactive development. Over the course of three months, these notes were distilled, focused and formatted into what is today a usable, if half-completed, workbook that lays down the entire process from initial sales call to the post-launch marketing and wrap up.
I had it approved by the owner and other interested parties and took it the sales staff. The new sales guy (Z) felt it was exactly what the company and he needed. Y had concerns about details but was happy to see it as well.
However X was nonplussed. He continued to use his old inefficient methods, methods that kept the client and the company management in the dark about the progress of jobs, mostly because of the outsourcing issue. His accountability was reaching all time lows and the company was in trouble. His projects became drains on the company to the point where clients were calling the owner directly seeking satisfaction.
Over the last few weeks after some difficult confrontations, heated discussions, poorly timed vacations and non-work actions (like my classes at PSU), X had been lobbying heavily for my removal. From every whisper I’d heard, X felt that the company’s problems were directly related to my lack of skills and my inflexibility. This was never stated to me directly by X. My salary was ‘simply chewing up the profits that the company could be generating.’ I had little hope in defending myself. A phrase kept finding itself in my thoughts: “Blood is thicker than water.”
The owner began asking people around the shop about this. What value was I adding? Was I doing real work? Was I just producing a lot of heat and smoke?
After far too long of no communication between me and the owner, I asked if we could talk. I’m not one to toot my horn, but after some prodding and some thought about what I needed addressed, I finally had this talk. Over the course of three hours I fully laid out the workbook, the processes, showed the sign-offs and approvals that I had gotten, stated precisely my position in relation with each member of the company and told the owner where my value fit into the overall company structure.
The owner began to see the other side of the coin. I believe it was about this time that the questions X had been lobbing in my direction began to be asked about him.
Sales were gone. X and Y had been focusing on what they termed ‘business development’ which included taking potential clients from the other side of the continent rock climbing on company hours. After demotions, salary cuts and a multitude of warnings, X showed no signs of stepping up to take full on the responsibility of his position. In fact, he eventually gave the owner an ultimatum.
It did not go well, and in fact, the threat behind it was largely non-existent. X was no longer an employee of the company.
On one hand, I’m relieved. The political and social tension that this rift was causing in the company and in me was ripping things apart. I began looking up old co-workers, establishing contacts that I felt would be necessary once A) the company was dissolved or B) I was let go. Now that’s unnecessary. My organization and methodology can continue to blossom and grow. The work that I’ve put into the workbook will be tried and tested in the exact circumstances it was developed for. The pressure has been lifted and I can feel a lot of stress draining away. My cold sore, a constant companion in the last two high stress weeks, has even begun to recover.
On the other hand I’m torn. X and myself had a very good thing in 1999. It was a time where we were about to take over the world and we knew how to do it because we could rely on each other. I know that today I am able to rely on the incredibly strong group that is there. As one said, “It’s your chance to shine.” I’m happy to have that confidence back. But it different.
X and I were never close friends. But I do mourn loss of the comradery that came from those first few months of the birth of this company. I know where I will be looking for it. I feel sorry for X. I hope he can find his way as well.
Funny, I’m trying to think of a song lyric that would close this entry, yet nothing seems to fit the sentiment of that last statement in a business context.