04.13.04
Preparing to Resolve Conflicts
Here’s a framework for conflict resolution. I’m thinking of expanding this further.
- Recognize
- Respect
- Relate
- Resolve
The four R’s here are stges that you can use to work through conflicts in ideaologies, methods, or other issues. This framework scales well from person-to-person conflicts up to small and large group conflicts and beyond.
Recognize: The first step is two fold: Recognizing that there is a conflict and recognizing the individual elements that are part of that conflict. Whether it’s a difference in background, vocabulary, or group or personal history, everyone brings to the table a certain amount of baggage.
Respect: Do what it takes to understand how the opposing side has come to this point: each of the elements from the above step will lead people to different conclusions. Respecting these conclusions is the important part of this step. You do not have to agree with them, simply understand that this is where the other side is at.
Relate: Taking that respect to the next level means understanding it personally. Relate the context and the conclusions from the previous steps to examples from your own life: some issues such as abandonment, frustration, and resentment are nearly universal. Putting the opposing parties’ into perspective can give you the start of understnading, but stepping into their role or situation can provide clarity in the perspective.
Resolve: Now you have the foundation for communicating in an open and understanding manner with the opposing side. By having gone through these steps each side can express themselves through their own words and understand shared concepts that trancend the specific situations.