05.25.02
Of Recent Days
The months of 2002 have been consumed by this ‘on the verge of finishing’ project that has dragged on for… months. Literally the site has supposedly been going to launch the next month for just about each month ahead. I’m so tired of this thing. The situation, being just about to finish leaves me in a really irritable mood all the time.
My main job these days is the work at PGE. And my focus is getting the project finished. Whenever a project is ‘almost’ finished I begin to put my concentration on getting it done. The closer I get to finishing the more I anticipate finishing. Each week, each day I get a bit more edgy, my humour gets a bit more wry and I get more cynical.
It permeates the rest of the my life as well. I get short with people around me and Amy bears the brunt of it. My plumeting mood has got to be rough because of the contrast with my usual, more even countenence.
I feel like a real heel too because in recent weeks I’ve gotten a new Stereo for my Ghia and a brand new office chair. I ought to be fine and I ought to be able to separate out my issues at work from my actions and feelings at home.
My irritability has only been tempered by the moments that I spend doing and focusing on something else. But I find that it’s got to be something that I can be intense about. I’ve been playing on Amy’s keyboard tapping out and layering little 12 and 16 measure tunes. I’ve been playing some French learning tape tracks over and over again. And I’ve been working on this Director project that our class has supposed to have been putting together.
These are projects that occupy my time before I finish TownPartner and get on with my life.