11.05.02

Linux Humor Pearls

Posted in General at 9 pm

Okay, I understood about 90% of this and only recognized 50% of the names. Not too bad for a Mac user… Linux Quotes of Humour. Duplicate in the Read More.

heh.. I closed my eyes while sneezing, and meanwhile 40 new posts from lkml populate my inbox
— skuld on #kernelnewbies

 
I was reaching out of my mother’s womb when she was 3 months along and ground out a preemptively multitasking object VM pagecache-based VFS SMP+NUMA-aware by means of nothing but pure lockless algorithms -based with checkpointing and hotplug everything kernel from scratch for a PDP-10.
— wli on #offtopic

 
“All my ideas are absolutely brilliant, until somebody points out why they can’t work.”
— Linus Torvalds on LKML (26/09/2002)
blurbing about “sticky pages” support in the vm

 
“Remember me being called LIAR by PINHEAD?”
— Andre Hedrick in linux-kernel

 
“Still wondering why they called it ‘United Linux’. Firstly it sounds like a football team and secondly wouldn’t ‘Turbo Susiva’ have sounded much better 8)”
— Alan Cox, on his diary, airing his views on United Linux

 
“A billion flies _CAN_ be wrong. I’d rather eat lamb chops than shit”
— Linus Torvalds

 
“The more I practice, the luckier I get”
— Daniel Phillips, in LKML, quoting Minnesota Fats most famous quote

 
“Anyone who quotes me in their sig is an idiot — Rusty Russel”
— Rusty Russel in his… signature on LKML.

 
“I’d rather listen to Newton than to Mundie. He may have been dead for almost three hundred years, but despite that he stinks up the room less.”
— Linus Torvalds on Craig Mundie’s “shared source” speech.

 
“You want brutality and heuristics? I’ll give you brutality and heuristics…”
— Eric S. Raymond

 
“And I doubt complaining to the author gets you anything but a free procmail rule.”
— Alan Cox on asking authors to document their code

 
“I’m sweating like a pig…”
— Jens Axboe in #kernelnewbies

 
“Given enough thrust any pig will fly, but it’s not necessarilly a good idea.”
— Al Viro

 
“If I have trouble installing Linux, something is wrong. Very wrong.”
— Linus Torvalds

 
“Now I know why you say so little in person, you mouth is in a NOP because the brain is always inserting requests at the top of the list_head.”
— Andre Hedrick on Alan Cox

 
“Message passing as the fundamental operation of the OS is just an excercise in computer science masturbation. It may feel good, but you don’t actually get anything DONE.”
— Linus Torvalds

 
“Think of it this way: threads are like salt, not like pasta. You like salt, I like salt, we all like salt. But we eat more pasta.”
— Larry McVoy

 
“…and scantily clad females, of course. Who cares if it’s below zero outside”
— Linus Torvalds

 
“THIS time it really is fixed. I mean, how many times can we get it wrong? At some point, we just have to run out of really bad ideas..”
— Linus Torvalds

 
“And I’m right. I’m always right, but in this case I’m just a bit more right than I usually am.”
— Linus Torvalds

 
“You are welcome to your opinion. I’ve got this great bridge to sell you too.”
— Alan Cox to someone recommending the NVidia drivers

 
“Rusty? Help me out, and I won’t ever call “netfilter” a heap of stinking dung again. Do we have a deal?”
— Linus Torvalds

 
“An innovation a day keeps the monopolist away”
— Alan Cox when releasing linux-2.4.1ac19

 
“Actually you would still need the other fixes otherwise you might as well put the root password in /etc/motd”
— Alan Cox pointing out some security holes in binfmt_misc

 
“I have a simple rule in life: If I don’t understand something, it must be bad.
— Linus Torvalds

 
“You don’t seem to have a paid 24hr response contract with me.”
— Alan Cox, to an impatient luser trying to get help with IDE

 
“Tweaking your code and sacrificing chickens until you happen to get the output you want is no substitute for fixing the compiler. And it’s a waste of good chickens.”
— David Woodhouse , on fixing concatenated strings

 
“I saw ‘write reference’ and my brain translated that to ‘write()’. I blame the long weekend.”
— Keith Owens, on mmap documentation

 
“Even though some people probably take a valium or two before they dare open emails from Al”
— Linus Torvalds, yet again on IDE mess

 
“But in other areas we have people like Al Viro, who can drive grown men to cry (and drink)”
— Linus Torvalds, on IDE mess

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